Let me start by telling you what I’m not. I don’t suffer from depression, anxiety, PTSD, or any other psychological disorder. I do not have arthritis, MS, MD, or chronic pain. I don’t have epilepsy, I don’t need help to quit smoking or get off other illicit drugs. And I use CBD oil.
Now for what I do have… three sons, a husband, two part-time jobs, and more laundry and dishes to wash than I will ever make my way through. I love my life. I love my family. I love my friends and my work. I chose to be a stay-at-home mom and I’ve never regretted it. But just like any other job or any other lifestyle, what I have chosen can still be challenging.
How it All Began
I first started researching CBD for a blog. As I learned more, I became intrigued by its potential… for my husband’s arthritis. Learning about the endocannabinoid system (ECS) in the body blew my mind. There’s this newly discovered body system that regulates and impacts numerous other systems throughout the body, helping them perform optimally and balanced. And I liked the idea of CBD being safe, non-psychoactive, and, most importantly, legal
So, I purchased a vial of CBD oil for my husband. He started using it and did find relief in his arthritis pain. But something else happened. Some of the worries, the anxieties, the concerns he battled on a daily basis began to lessen. He had more peace about the issues that usually stressed him. He wasn’t a different person. He wasn’t altered. He wasn’t high or stoned or “out of it.” He was… happier!
I had zero expectations to use it. Honestly, I didn’t think I needed it. It would be like taking aspirin for nonexistent pain… why would I?
Until One Day…
(Did I mention I have 3-year-old twins and a 9-year-old out for summer vacation?) I was talking to my husband one night about how I hated how impatient I was with our boys. I felt stressed and short-tempered. I was easily irritated. Some mornings, I woke up feeling annoyed even before hearing the first, “Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom.” I didn’t like the mom I was. And I felt that if I had a good day with my kids, I was mentally completely spent and deflated.
I already had my concerns about being high addressed from observing my husband. (Yes, I know the research and science absolutely states CBD is not the mind-altering substance like it’s THC relative… but I was still skeptical.) The first time I tried CBD oil, I did it while my husband was at home, just to make sure all was safe. I didn’t “feel” anything. There was no instant calm or peace or high. Just a weird taste.
But as the day progressed, I noticed I was calmer. Things that annoyed me the day before, I was able to laugh off. The things that would have aggravated me previously, I was able to draw a deep breath and deal with the actual issue. Instead of losing my cool or exploding at one of my kids, I was able to address the behavior. And most of all, when three-year-olds ask the same incessant question repeatedly no matter how many times I give the same, consistent answer, I manage to not eat my young the way other creatures in nature tend to… Seriously, it gave me the patience to stay calm, continue to answer the question, and if need be, redirect and cope with them.
I started taking it on an ongoing basis, once in the morning, and once at night, and felt more in control. I no longer woke up agitated. I’m able to enjoy my boys more.
I feel stable, healthy, and whole. I enjoy my part-time jobs more. I feel more fulfilled. I feel like I have things to contribute to a conversation and am a better companion when my husband returns home from work. And while I still don’t jump with excitement every time I fold clothes or scrub toilets or clean messes, I feel satisfied in a job well-done instead of dreading the drudgery of daily life.
No, I don’t have physical or psychological medical conditions that warrants CBD. But for me, CBD restores balance to my off-kilter ECS, even though I didn’t know it was wonky.
CBD oil has enhanced my sense of self and helped me be a better version of me. It didn’t change me or make me high. Instead, it helped me harness my emotions, control my reactions, and remain calmer. It’s definitely made a believer out of me.
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